


Five Things the Team Knew (or Thought They Knew)

by Niki



Category: NCIS
Genre: Banter, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining, tropes tropes tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22943140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: Something is going on between Tony and Abby. They all know it.
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo & Abby Sciuto, Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs
Comments: 25
Kudos: 291





	1. Gibbs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MerNeith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerNeith/gifts).



> I've been talking about this story with Neith for years. I finally got around to finishing the first draft for a late Yule present, and here's the final version on her birthday!
> 
> Happy Birthday to the person who dragged me into this fandom in the first place!

It's not that Gibbs didn't trust Tony. He just didn't trust Tony... with women. And while mostly he didn't care, when it came to Abby, he did, a lot.

It started slowly, so slowly he thought he was imagining anything out of the ordinary happening. The two were friends, after all. So when he showed up in the lab and Tony was already there... well, it was a common place to hide from work. And if they changed subjects as soon as he arrived? Also usual, he was the boss.

He wasn't _actively_ trying to sneak up on them at any point, any more than usual, so it wasn't his fault if they didn't notice him. 

What's that old saying about eavesdroppers never hearing anything good about themselves?

“And a bed.”

“A bed.”

“Abby, I'm not sleeping in a coffin. Not long term.”

Gibbs turned tail and walked back to the elevator, then changed direction and went to the morgue instead. Ducky was out on a scene with Palmer and Gibbs knew where he kept his whiskey.


	2. McGee

Tim could have done this later, of course. But the idea of seeing Abby at home, tousled from sleep... well, it was an experience. One he missed experiencing.

He wasn't disappointed when Abby opened her door. Completely without make up, hair hanging lose around her face, in a... in something that resembled a men's pyjama top that was too large for her. It was black and looked silky so Tim guessed it made sense. 

Abby's face didn't. 

“Were you expecting someone?” Tim asked, making it a joke, because he knew Abby didn't... entertain in the mornings.

“Yeah, actually,” she said, then turned towards her kitchen.

“It's Timmy,” she said to someone, and stepped back to let him in.

Tony DiNozzo was sitting in her kitchen. Tony who did not have a shirt on. Tony who was wearing pyjama bottoms of some black silky material, drinking coffee and eating cereal, sleepy and tousled.

“Morning, Probie,” he said, smiling, like this was normal.

Tim may have stared, just a bit, before mumbling his own greeting.

Tony turned to look at Abby, ignoring him.

“Time to put your face on if you want a ride to work, sweetheart.”

Abby looked at Tony with an expression of mischievous amusement that screamed, _private joke_. Tim used to have private jokes with her.

Tim forgot what he'd even come there for.

\- - -

Tim knew he could never justify doing what he did. He knew he wouldn't be happy with anything he found because if there was something, then it would be proof. And if there wasn't, it didn't mean there wouldn't be in the future. 

He checked the personal records first. Technically, yes, he did not have access to everyone's files, and yes, it may have been sort of illegal that he accessed them anyway, and as the only thing he found was a confirmation that Tony's new address did indeed match Abby's...

Then he saw the marital status field, and as soon as his heart had started back up, he rounded up his illicit information gathering by hacking some state files. 

There it was, black on white.

Married. They were married.


	3. Ducky

And yet again Anthony had managed to get himself into a hospital. Ducky couldn't say he was surprised but he rather wished he could be. 

He was, however, surprised by the fact Abigail was the first on the scene, so to say, waiting in the waiting room before Jethro had even been informed... and looking so worried Ducky briefly wondered if the information he had received was not quite accurate because he had understood Anthony's injuries weren't that life threatening for once.

“My dear,” he said, and accepted an armful of worried goth who made do with Ducky as her usual father figure wasn't around to console her. 

“Ms. Scuito? We need your signature for the consent forms.”

Curiouser and curiouser, Ducky thought, as Abby extracted herself and followed the nurse. Since when was fair Abigail Tony's health care proxy instead of Jethro?

It would of course explain how she was here before the others.

It would probably also explain why Jethro had been in such horrendous mood lately.


	4. Ziva

Tony did not flirt with her anymore.

It was not like she had wanted him to, anyway. It was unprofessional, but it had been useful to know she had power over him.

But even though he joked, and teased, and talked, it was completely without the spark of... something. 

And this was a phenomenon she needed to get to the butt of.

She did not use NCIS resources for her investigation. Too much to risk over something so trivial as this. It was not hard to find the necessary information either way. Tony did not have his apartment anymore. 

She sacrificed a few mornings for surveillance only to discover Tony and Abby drove to work together most mornings, but one of them stepped out of the car a block or two away, so as not to arrive together. 

They would not bother to try to disguise this if it was completely innocent. 

Ziva did not mind. Discretion over one's private life was commendable. She minded that she had not noticed this development. She had to pause to interrogate her own motives.

Had she... turned complacent with Tony's attention? She did not mind losing it of course. It was merely a professional embarrassment. 

And if she was hurt, it was only because she had thought they were friends, and friends told their friends about these things. How could _Tony_ of all people keep this so quiet?


	5. The Team

It was a day like any other, winter air brisk with a hint of snow, their most recent case had been wrapped up in satisfactory manner just a day ago, and Gibbs should have been in a better mood.

As it happened, Gibbs was not in a good mood. He felt like he hadn't, in months. The team had worked through Thanksgiving, but that was nothing new, and besides, what would he have done anyway?

Tony arrived back to work with turkey sandwiches one morning, and Gibbs had wanted to trash those damn things. He was being petty, and foolish. He had no right for his jealousy. Or hurt. He was the one who insisted people who worked together shouldn't be together so of course they had to hide it from him. 

He tried to behave like usual to Abby. He did. He did not resent her for getting to go home to someone every evening. 

He absolutely did not keep his team working overtime just to keep Tony from getting home to her. 

Tony had gone downstairs almost an hour ago because there was a visitor, and he had obviously braced himself for this meeting, with a few deep breaths and straightening of his shoulders. Gibbs noticed he wasn't the only one looking after him with a calculating expression. So the rest of the team had also noticed something was up.

Now the elevator doors opened, and Tony, Abby, and a middle aged woman in business casual walked out. 

“...still like to meet your co-workers,” she was saying.

“We told you why we haven't told them!” Abby was saying, sharing looks with Tony behind her back. They were following the stranger who was determinedly walking towards the team, who had all gotten up from their seats, gathering to meet them.

“And you have to admit it might sound suspicious in your particular circumstances.”

“Still, there's no need for you to talk to them about our personal lives, they don't know anything about it,” Tony was insisting, and Gibbs couldn't help scoffing.

All three turned to look at him. He didn't know what this was about but he could guess.

“You work with investigators,” Gibbs said, “Of course we damn well know.”

“Oh?” The woman looked eager.

“They have lived together since August,” Gibbs said, blandly.

“They got married on September 24,” McGee added. Gibbs hadn't known that, hadn't _wanted_ to know that, and it shouldn't have mattered on top of everything else he knew about them, but it did. Apparently he could still hurt worse than he had.

“It was a brief ceremony in a registrar's office,” Ziva said, and Gibbs almost, almost found strength to smirk at the baffled expressions on Tony's and Abby's face. 

The strangers expression was... glowing? She turned to smile at Abby and Tony. 

“You have to love trained investigators,” she said. 

She shook their hands, still smiling. “You can expect to hear from our office very soon, Ms. Scuito, Mr. DiNozzo. Congratulations. I'm sure I can find my own way out.”

Tony and Abby stared after her until she disappeared in the elevator, and then they were whooping and laughing and hugging, and Gibbs really should turn his gaze off the happiness on their faces.

Tony was holding Abby up, off the floor, twirling her around in a circle. When he put her down, they were still smiling widely at each other, everyone around them forgotten. Then Abby opened her mouth, and Gibbs did not need to hear whatever she was going to say.

“I want a divorce!” Abby declared, with her smile getting even wider.

“Oh hell yes,” Tony agreed, and gathered her even closer for a hug.

What?

Finally, finally the pair turned to look at their team.

“Thanks guys!” Tony said.

“Oh that was brilliant,” Abby said. “I should be pissed at you for sneaking behind our backs but that was just what we needed!”

“ _We_ were sneaking behind your back?” McGee spluttered. 

“Yeah, Probie. You coulda asked,” Tony said, but he was still grinning, arm around Abby, and...

“Divorce?” Ziva asked, as if checking whether she had understood the word right.

“Oh hell yeah, I am so done with this marriage thing,” Abby declared.

“Although I suppose it would be too suspicious if we file for divorce right away,” Tony said, turning to look at Abby again.

“Oh, yeah. True. Next year? You can cheat on me over the holidays or something.”

“Abby, I am wounded, I would never.”

“What the HELL is going on?” Gibbs demanded, his patience finally ending.

“I needed a husband to secure an inheritance,” Abby said, like that was a regular thing to happen to a person. “Because apparently I had a godmother with Strict Opinions. I wouldn't have cared if it was just money, but if I didn't get it, it would have gone to the most hateful organisations she could think of to force my hand!”

She turned to look at Tony. “And I needed someone who wouldn't expect anything from me, so that ruled out most of the guys I know. And I didn't like the idea of trying to hire someone, so it was an obvious first move to ask Tony.”

Tony shrugged. “Of course I promised to help her.”

“Of course you did!” Abby kissed him on the cheek with a wide smile.

“And that woman was...” Ziva prompted.

“Oh, she's a lawyer with the office who are executors of the will. It was up to them to decide if I was really married, and didn't just hire someone. They've been really thorough.”

“We were actually expecting someone from the office the morning you visited, McGee,” Tony said, “I'd made friends with a secretary working there, and she gave us tips as to when to expect inspections.”

“Maybe you can cheat on me with her?” Abby suggested with such exuberance in her voice Gibbs had to believe it, had to believe there was nothing between them. 

Tony grinned at her, “Maybe a little too close to home, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, alright,” Abby conceded, still smiling.

“And I guess I have to learn to not call you sweetheart anymore,” Tony said, and he might have looked a bit chagrined about it.

“Oh, I'll always be your sweetie, sweetie.”

Gibbs sat down. “I suppose it would be impossible to expect some work out of you people.”

“Come on, boss! We've finished the paperwork. Let's have an extremely late Wedding reception with pizza somewhere.”

“Or a Divorce reception?” Abby suggested with a laugh, and turned her pleading eyes on Gibbs. 

Oh what the hell. He felt almost like celebrating himself.


	6. Tony

To be honest, Tony was a little surprised that Gibbs went along with that. Okay, a lot surprised. They stopped at the morgue to invite Ducky and Jimmy, who were quickly brought up to speed. And even Gibbs joined them for the meal. Tony wasn't complaining, far from it, just... surprised.

“We could have had cake,” Abby said, a little wistfully. “If we had some advance warning.”

“At least no one is bringing us a toaster,” Tony consoled her. “Or a wok.”

“If we had, we'd be demanding them back right about now,” Tim said, surprisingly wryly. 

“How cruel,” Tony said, trying to appear serious. “You lose your spouse and then all the cool gadgets.”

“Your cool gadgets are in storage, soon-to-be-ex-spouse,” Abby reminded him, her smile not having dimmed from before. 

Tony wondered why no one had asked how much money they were talking about. Abby had to be thinking of all the good she could do with it. And she had promised to buy him a new apartment when they were done with everything. Which reminded him...

“Oh damn,” Tony said. “I need to find a new place to live.”

“Yes you do,” Abby said, grinning. “It hasn't been horrible living with you but I can't wait to get my home to myself!”

Tony dropped his head to the table and mumbled about how much he hated apartment hunting. Abby was patting him on the head. 

“Poor baby. I'll come hunting with you! Least I can do for kicking you out of our marital home.”

“I'm taking the bed,” Tony said, sitting back up. 

“And the good china?” Abby asked, grinning, and Tony was going to miss her, miss this new closeness they had.

But he was also really looking forward to actually getting laid.

“Watch out,” Tim said. “If you don't have a prenup, he might take half of your inheritance.”

“That just means I could take half of his movie collection, like he'd take that risk!”

*

The evening was fun, full of teasing and good vibes, and Gibbs had stayed to the end which didn't stop amazing Tony. Not that he was complaining, not when he could spy on a relaxed Gibbs from the corner of his eye, hear him laughing with Ducky, and occasionally... Occasionally it looked like he was staring at Tony, in a way that made his stomach do weird, not wholly unpleasant things.

He was sure he was imagining it, but it didn't stop him from enjoying it, turning on his charm to 11, and being the life of the party. His and Abby's joy was catching, too, as everyone else seemed relaxed too. Ziva even recounted the story of tailing them to work, as if it was funny, and tonight... it was.

It was past midnight when they paid and made their way out of the restaurant. Abby and Ducky were walking together, discussing investments, as far as Tony could tell, and were followed by Tim and Ziva, who had both drunk a little too much and Tony couldn't tell which one was propping which one up as they made their way towards the taxi stand. No way were they in any condition to drive, any of them. 

Tony was in no hurry because Gibbs was walking next to him. They weren't talking, of course, but the older man was walking close enough that their arms kept touching, and it was... pleasant. It was pleasant.

Suddenly Gibbs stopped, and with a hand on Tony's arm pulled him a little to the side, into an alley, so they were out of side from the others, had they even noticed they were not following them anymore. 

“You're not with Abby,” Gibbs said, and Tony frowned. 

“Yes? I mean no. Isn't that what we've been discussing these past hours?” 

“You're _not_ with Abby,” Gibbs repeated, slowly, eyes glued to Tony's face, and how much had the man drunk?

Tony just shook his head again, just to make sure they were clear on this.

Gibbs finally dropped his gaze, dropped his whole head, for a second, before looking back up with a small smile.

“Go out with me.”

Now Tony wondered how much _he_ had drunk.

“Say what?”

“Or punch me in the face for asking.”

“Do you have an inheritance you need to secure too?”

Gibbs laughed at that. Laughed. He looked... happy. Corners of his eyes wrinkling with the way he smiled with his whole face.

“I almost lost my chance to... take that chance. So.”

Tony blinked. And blinked again. But really, there was only one answer for this madness, wasn't there?

“Yes?”

“Which one?”

“Huh?”

“Date or punching?”

“Can I get by with a provisional 'both'?”

Gibbs laughed again (and really, he had to be drunk) and leaned closer, and even closer than that, and Tony was being kissed. 

He hadn't kissed anyone for months, and it was _Gibbs_ , so Tony figured he could be forgiven for moaning into it, and opening his mouth, going with it, even as more than half of his brain was still unconvinced it was even happening.

“What...”

“I'm carpeing the diem. At least according to Ducky.”

“Was he drunk too?”

“Tony,” Gibbs said, in a much more serious tone, sounding so much more like himself Tony felt a smidgen of normalcy return to his day. “I was jealous as hell.”

God, Tony wasn't blushing, was he? His face felt hot at the admission. It was making him giddier than even the kiss.

Of which there should be more of. He rectified the situation with concentration and enthusiasm.

“Come home with me,” Gibbs said, pulling back from the kiss...es. Was that an upgrade or a downgrade from an actual date? Not that he cared, Tony realised. With this new, lighter, laughing Gibbs, it didn't even matter what they did, where they went, as seeing him like this was already an intimacy he had never even dreamt of earning.

“Well,” Tony pretended to ponder, “I guess I'll be cheating on Abby after all.”

The head slap was expected, even if lighter than ever, and Gibbs left the hand in his hair, and used it to pull him down for another kiss.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Text from Tony to Abby: “Not coming home tonight. See you tomorrow.”_
> 
> _Text from Abby to Tony: “Getting a head start on that infidelity thing? ;)”_
> 
> _Text from Tony to Abby: “YES”_
> 
> _Text from Tony's phone to Abby: “not giving him back”_


End file.
